A letter written on Corrino stationary in elegant handwriting
Dear Steffan,
It is with great urgency that I meet with you immediately. Enclosed, you will find a pass that will allow you to travel this evening and admit you to the Palace area. I know you are busy, but this is extremely important and needs your immediate attention.
Justine
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Steffan climbs up the Stairs.
Steffan has arrived.
Justine is currently sitting on a stone bench, to the left of the patio, with her arms crossed before her and staring out over the lights of Kaitain. It's obvious that she's deep in thought, not only because of her trance like state but also from the seriousness of her face. Something's wrong, but is it good or bad?
Steffan enters the Green hobling on one leg. The cast is still showing, but now he is able to walk on it. Trying his best to make good time, his expression is one of anxiousness. He notices Justine only when get close to the bench. "Justine? " He stops, favoring the good leg, and staring momentarily at the enterance. "Ummm, I thought we were meeting with His Majesty inside?"
Justine hmmmms as she hears someone talking to her, but not catching what was said. Her head slowly turns to you and tilts back slightly so she's looking up at you. No smile, no nothing...in fact, she might be mistaken for being in shock. "Hmmm?"
Looking thankful for a bench to rest on, Steffan sits down next the Justine. He motions towards the enterance, "You ok?,.... we shouldn't keep His Majesty waiting.."
Justine's head slowly shakes as she looks back over the lights. Her voice is soft and slow as she speaks, "We are not meeting with His Majesty now. He is in audience with someone."
Steffan nods and then says with a somewhat sarcastic tone, "oh, yea, I suppose with a new Emperor, they're all lining up to kiss his feet. " He then looks over at you strangly, "you ok? Maybe the His Majesty ought to let you come to the embassy for a while. Maybe a break from all this will make you feel better.."
Justine sighs heavily at the request to go back to the Embassy. Her arms tighten around her and if you look close enough, you'll see a small book wedged in between her arms and chest. A heavy frown appears on her face as she keeps her eyes on the lights, "I spoke with his Majesty earlier, Steffan. I....I've been given a decision..."
Steffan raises a brow, "huh? a decision...about what?"
Justine glances down at the book she's clinging to with dear life, a hand moving to it's edges and tracing them delicately, trying to think of how to put this. She inhales deeply and then quietly says, "The Emperor is most impressed with me, Steffan. He's heard a good many things about me."
Steffan smiles, "But of course....who would say anything bad about you? But what does that exactly..." He stops amid sentence. He ponders a moment, "Umm what exactly are you getting at?"
After a very long and heavy silence, Justine barely whispers a reply while looking down at the book she holds, "He has offered me a position as a Diplomat for the Imperial House and as an Advisor to him. I would help him make decisions affecting Kaitain...." Her voice trails off, not being able to finish the rest, but you just know there is a big, fat 'but' lingering there.
Steffan 's eyes widen a bit, "Really well, an Imperial Advisor!....extraordinary. How about that! Its bit unusual for our Marquise but..heh, a bit, its more than that! Do you know how truly extroordinary it is for someone to be the Emperor's advisor?!! And a woman at that!! " He then stops as he looks more closely at you. "Hrm, Why do I get the feeling you haven't told me everything yet?".
Justine's eyes close as you get excited by the offer, more excited then she's ever seen you actually. Tears escape her eyes so she stands and slowly walks forward, to the stone terrace, setting the book down on it and lays her hand on top. She leans forward a bit, looking out over the city while trying to find the words to continue. She sighs heavily and nods slowly, voice still soft and sad, "Yes, I do realize the importance of this Steffan, very much. It's a once in a lifetime position, anyone would be crazy to turn it down......but....." Her head lowers and her hand moves up to her face, wiping away the tears, sniffing, "If I am to accept the job, then I must renounce Ginaz completely and live here permanently." Her body begins to tremble, starting to speak again but cannot.
Steffan sighs, and then leans back on the bench. Dumbfounded, he grows quite silent. He places his face into the palms of his hands and then sighs again. "Well...now I can see your dilemma. I cannot make this decision for you. You must make it for yourself. And I will support whatever you decide.."
Justine's head shakes, "There's more....if I decide to decline his offer, then I must renounce House Corrino. I will no longer have the protection of the Imperium and I will no longer have the priviledges that I have." She brings a hand to her face as she cries quietly, this is obviously tearing her apart.
With the cast on, Steffan struggles to stand up and curses the whole time. He makes his way over to Justine and then places his hand on her shoulder. "I knew someday you would have to chose. That is the way of things. Frankly, your position as Marquise would conflict with your duty to the Emperor, and in fact your loyality to Ginaz would be seen as undo favortism to our Great House. Something the other Houses Major would not appreciate. As far as renouncing Corrino, Ginaz can protect you just as well, Im sure you know that."
Justine's head shakes heavily as her hand moves away from her face so she can turn to face you with the tears streaming down her face, "I don't care about duty and I don't care about protection, Steffan. There's only one thing that I care about and that's what's making this so hard on me."
Steffan nods with a smiles, "I know, I figured you would say that. If that position with the Emperor then is not what you want. Then why really stay with Corrino?"
Justine sighs heavily, shaking her head in disbelief as she looks back over the city. She's quiet for a moment and then speaks softly again, "I didn't say that it wasn't what I wanted, Steffan. A part of me wants to accept the position but another does not." Her fingers brush against the markings of the book as she pauses once more, "Quite frankly, titles, positions and rankings aren't what motivates me, Steffan. There's something far more powerful and more prestigeous then all of those combined that compells me to do the things I do."
Steffan hrms, trying to look like he understands everything you are saying. He takes a deep breath, "Well, how long before you have to make a decision?"
Justine's eyes close tightly and her head turns away from you, looking hurt by your words. Another long, heavy pause lingers between the two before she looks down at the book and whispers, "It seems as if it's been made." She turns and begins to slowly move away, leaving the book behind.
Steffan shakes his head, now more confused than ever. He looks at the book momentarily and then starts hobling after Justine, "What you do want from me? I can't make this decision for you.."
The book looks very similar, actually. Nearly identical to the Book of Poetry that she once gave you. She stops when you follow and speak to her, turning to you with a very sullen expression, "I didn't say that you had to make it for me, Steffan and I can't tell you what I want. You should know what I want, it's always what I've wanted. If I tell you what I want you to say or to do, then it doesn't mean anything." Her head shakes sadly, "Don't you ever speak from your heart Steffan? Or is this it?"
Ulricke comes from the Reception Foyer.
Ulricke has arrived.
Ulricke walks out onto the green. She pauses to curtsey greeting to the pair, and continues to her destination.
Ulricke descends the Stairs.
Ulricke has left.
Steffan stops for a moment and stares at Justine surprised. He places his hands on his hips, and annoyed expression forms on his face. "Would getting down on one knee begging you to stay with Ginaz change the situation? This is not just any decision, this will have profound implications on your life! If your life is not governed by duty and rank, well fine, but mine is. It doesn't mean I don't love, and it doesn't mean that don't love you because I do but geez what more do you want from me? You want it all Justine and you can't have it all. You must chose now for a noble cannot have two charges. You are a Ginaz because you are now married to me, your not a Corrino. You pretty much renounced it when you married me.."
Justine looks very hurt by your words and quickly nods as she says, "Actually, it would help if you did, Steffan! It helps to know that if I choose to stay with Ginaz, then I'll be with someone who loves me and wants me to be with them. Otherwise, why should I bother returning? I'm standing here and telling you that our marriage and my life is on the line and you feed me lines saying that whatever I decide is fine with you." Her head shakes again, "I don't want it to be fine with you! I want you to be upset because there's a good chance that you could lose me and that isn't what you want. I want you to tell me that you don't want me to stay here and serve the Emperor, that you want me to stay and be with you. If that's asking too much, then the decision has been made and I wish you luck with your life." She turns her back to you but doesn't walk away.
Steffan places his hands behind his back and paces back and forth. "I simply cannot feel that way Justine. If you just left for no reason, or worse, left to be with someone like that letch Count Moritani I can assure you I would be. But the Emperor? He has given you an oppurtunity for a position that few ever have, and what he has asked in return is not unreasonable. You know how I feel about these things. When His Majesty wishes my service, I do as he asks. It does't mean necessarily that I wouldn't anyway. But to serve the Emperor is the Highest Honor, and as far as Im concerned sometimes even an obligation. I cannot chose for you, I want you to stay with us surely but in the end you yourself must decide on what is best for you. You must decide on what is most important for your own happiness..."
Justine's head shakes slowly, not believing this. Another long, heavy pause and then a quiet voice, "Then I'm sorry to have wasted your time, Steffan. Far be it for me to ask you to be more then what you are capable of being. I was a fool to think that you were capable of such things and for that, I apologize. I'm sorry that you do not realize that he isn't telling me to do this and not leaving a choice. That you see it as some sort of order so decreed by His Majesty that cannot be refused. Although, it amazes me that just the other night, I was begging you not to start a war with His Majesty, yet you were hellbound and determined to do it because he was going to invade your home. Yet, when he wants to invade our marriage, you're perfectly willing to give up without a fight. I'm sorry that it took me this long to see you for how you really are, that you don't care for me as I care for you. My happiness used to lie with you, Steffan. With the hope that you loved me as much as I loved you. That you would be willing to do anything for me as I was willing to do for you. If the situation were reversed, I would do everything in my power, even get down on my hands and knees and BEG you not to leave me, because I love you that much. Because I need you that much." Her head shakes, "You do not need me, you do not want me. I see that now. I'm sorry it took so long. I won't bother you anymore." She chokes on her last few statements, hanging her head once more so it can meet wtih her hands.
Steffan stops pacing, still gripping his hands behind his back. He smiles thinly "Why is that you always twist my words? When did I ever say I didn't need you? No matter how many times I say it you its never enough for you. You constantly question my feelings for you and if you don't know how I feel by now.. " He shakes his head and sighs, "Would I have sent you away if I hadn't cared about you and your safety? You want my personal feelings for you to make decisions and I can't do that. I want to be happy and I want you too as well, but I can't put my duty second the way you want me to.."
Justine turns to face you again, shaking her head heavily, "You're the one who twists everything Steffan and you never told me that you need me. The only time you show any affection for me at all is when I have to demand it or beg it from you. That isn't affection, that's pity. Of course I have to question your feelings, you don't ever show me any! We've been married nearly two years, yet we still haven't consumated it. Do you realize that means that this isn't a legal union? I never asked you to place me before duty but this has nothing to do with duty. This has to do with me...with us...with our future. And you didn't send me away, Steffan. I was summoned here, there's a very big difference in that. My feelings are what guides me in life, Steffan. My love for those I care for, the passion and compassion I have for them is what motivates me to do the things that I do. Without them, I am nothing and there is no reason to do anything. I don't expect you to be the same way, but I do expect you to realize this and in realizing it, knowing that this decision I have before me has EVERY SINGLE THING to do with your feelings for me. We've had this discussion before. You keep making me promises but you never go through with them, excep this last time. You seemed to be making an effort and you don't know how much that meant to me. But I'm not going to choose you over the Emperor if I'm not positive that I will be happy with you. Why give up this opportunity if things will go back to they used to be? Where we barely spoke or even see one another? When you couldn't even touch me, muchless look at me. Tell me why I would want to give this up for that?"
Steffan had to go to bed, so we’re going to continue later.